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Sync and corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:12,157 --> 00:00:13,891
(coughing)
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00:00:13,926 --> 00:00:15,193
BURT:
Does the song
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00:00:15,227 --> 00:00:16,427
"Glow Worm"
by the Mills Brothers
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00:00:16,462 --> 00:00:17,662
mean anything to you?
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00:00:17,696 --> 00:00:19,530
No.
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00:00:19,565 --> 00:00:20,733
Go get the record player.
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00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:23,340
Maybe it'll shake
something loose.
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00:00:23,374 --> 00:00:24,774
Oh, hey, look.
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00:00:24,809 --> 00:00:26,939
Here's the recipe for your
mother's pasta sauce.
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00:00:27,238 --> 00:00:29,613
Fill your dress full of
the neighbor's tomatoes,
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00:00:30,033 --> 00:00:32,735
add five bottles of
homemade red wine--
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00:00:32,769 --> 00:00:34,436
drinking as you go--
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finish off with a
fistful of garlic
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00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:38,607
and three pounds
of ground varmint.
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Any of that jog any memories?
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00:00:40,610 --> 00:00:42,378
Uh...
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00:00:42,412 --> 00:00:43,712
no.
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00:00:43,747 --> 00:00:45,981
Hey, happy Mother's Day.
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00:00:46,016 --> 00:00:47,349
Thanks.
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00:00:47,384 --> 00:00:49,451
What's with all the stuff?
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00:00:49,486 --> 00:00:51,053
Your father and I
thought it'd be a nice
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00:00:51,087 --> 00:00:52,488
Mother's Day gift for Maw Maw
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00:00:52,522 --> 00:00:54,356
if we helped her remember she
actually had a mother once.
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00:00:54,391 --> 00:00:56,225
But so far,
we're not having any luck.
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00:00:56,259 --> 00:00:57,660
We can't find
any pictures of her.
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00:00:57,694 --> 00:01:00,863
I'm telling you,
I don't think I had a mother.
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00:01:00,897 --> 00:01:02,097
Maybe she didn't.
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00:01:02,132 --> 00:01:03,632
I mean, none of
us ever saw her.
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00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,634
Maw Maw is pretty old.
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00:01:05,669 --> 00:01:07,503
Maw Maw,
you might be the first woman.
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00:01:07,537 --> 00:01:09,371
It's possible.
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00:01:09,406 --> 00:01:10,506
She had a mother.
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00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:11,907
Her name was Norma June.
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00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:13,309
Hey, where's Sabrina?
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00:01:13,343 --> 00:01:14,777
Oh, she's still
outside with Hope.
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00:01:14,811 --> 00:01:16,211
She's trying
to track down her mother
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00:01:16,246 --> 00:01:18,447
so she can wish her
a happy Mother's Day.
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00:01:18,481 --> 00:01:20,215
No, I don't want
to order takeout.
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00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:23,419
I, uh... I have a hotel from
Beijing on the other line,
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00:01:23,453 --> 00:01:25,754
and I was wondering if you
could tell me how to say,
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00:01:25,789 --> 00:01:27,856
"Is my mother there?"
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00:01:27,891 --> 00:01:29,725
Fine, I'll take an
order of egg rolls.
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00:01:29,759 --> 00:01:33,329
♪ Shine, little glowworm,
glimmer, glimmer... ♪
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Keep playing it, Burt.
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Is it your mother, Maw Maw?
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00:01:36,066 --> 00:01:37,766
Does this song
remind you of your mother?
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00:01:37,801 --> 00:01:39,134
No, my father.
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00:01:39,169 --> 00:01:41,904
He used to play this
record all the time.
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00:01:41,938 --> 00:01:43,472
And-and-and we
would dance all...
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00:01:43,506 --> 00:01:44,840
Burt, turn it off.
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00:01:44,874 --> 00:01:47,042
Maw Maw, why don't you
go in the backyard
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00:01:47,077 --> 00:01:49,011
and see if you can get us
a varmint for dinner.
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On it.
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00:01:52,615 --> 00:01:54,583
At least now we know
we can jog her memory
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00:01:54,617 --> 00:01:55,698
if we find the right thing.
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00:01:55,719 --> 00:01:59,355
Hey, um, can I borrow
this little box?
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00:01:59,389 --> 00:02:01,023
Yeah, I guess. Why?
59
00:02:01,057 --> 00:02:02,791
Well, I was going to save it
60
00:02:02,826 --> 00:02:04,526
for Mother's Day dinner, but...
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00:02:04,561 --> 00:02:07,029
I'm pretty excited
about it, so...
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Here.
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00:02:08,932 --> 00:02:10,099
Check it out.
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00:02:10,133 --> 00:02:13,001
Hope made it at daycare.
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Oh, my God.
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00:02:15,071 --> 00:02:16,405
I love it.
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I absolutely love it.
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00:02:18,408 --> 00:02:19,608
I'm never taking it off.
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00:02:19,642 --> 00:02:22,711
Oh, Mom, yeah,
the necklace isn't for you;
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00:02:22,746 --> 00:02:23,746
it's for Sabrina.
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Excuse me?
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Uh... it's
for Sabrina.
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00:02:31,488 --> 00:02:33,522
I'm going to give it to her
at-at dinner tonight.
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That's... that's why I'm
going to put it in the box.
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Uh, well... (chuckles)
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00:02:39,329 --> 00:02:41,997
I feel stupid.
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Here you go.
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00:02:43,933 --> 00:02:45,601
All right, hey, you know,
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I'm-I'm sorry that you
thought it was for you.
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00:02:48,805 --> 00:02:50,105
Hey.
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00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:52,174
JIMMY: Hey, uh, did you get
in touch with your mom?
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00:02:52,208 --> 00:02:53,776
Uh, not yet.
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00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:55,210
From what I can tell,
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00:02:55,245 --> 00:02:57,379
she's on a tandem bike tour
of the Great Wall of China
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00:02:57,414 --> 00:02:58,614
with some guy named Ping.
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00:02:58,648 --> 00:03:01,517
(animals squealing
and chittering)
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00:03:01,551 --> 00:03:03,152
I couldn't find a varmint.
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00:03:03,186 --> 00:03:05,654
But I found three critters
and a rascal.
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00:03:07,390 --> 00:03:10,359
Beef jerky, kettle corn
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and soda.
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00:03:12,462 --> 00:03:14,229
Well, that's got diabetes
and road trip
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00:03:14,264 --> 00:03:15,297
written all over it.
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Where you headed?
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00:03:16,399 --> 00:03:17,399
Up to Hagerstown.
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00:03:17,434 --> 00:03:18,600
Gonna take some pictures
of the house
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00:03:18,635 --> 00:03:20,202
Maw Maw grew up in
and see if it
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00:03:20,236 --> 00:03:21,470
shakes loose
any memories of her mother.
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Huh, I was going to take
a road trip today, too.
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00:03:23,406 --> 00:03:25,641
Visit my two moms
for Mother's Day.
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00:03:25,675 --> 00:03:27,476
But they canceled
to go outlet shopping.
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Flannel Dome's
having a big sale.
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00:03:29,212 --> 00:03:31,313
Yeah, looks like
Barney spent a weekend
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00:03:31,347 --> 00:03:32,514
in Washington marching
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to give them the right
to break my heart.
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You know,
if you want some company,
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I'll be glad to come along.
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Uh, why not?
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Always nice to have
some company in the car
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in case a duet
comes on the radio.
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Frank, you're in charge.
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I'm not sure if I'm up to it.
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Today's Mother's Day,
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00:03:50,567 --> 00:03:52,501
and I haven't talked
to my mom in...
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Frank, suck it up.
Nobody cares.
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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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I'd like to drive on
the way back, if you don't mind.
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Not that I didn't
enjoy the excitement
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00:04:08,318 --> 00:04:10,018
of beating that train
at the crossing,
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00:04:10,053 --> 00:04:12,133
but you can only turn your
underwear inside out once.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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I'm just taking a few pictures.
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Actually, I was wondering
if I could take
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some pictures inside, too.
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My wife's great-grandmother
used to live here.
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Her name's Norma June Mayfair.
126
00:04:25,768 --> 00:04:29,238
What the hell do you want?
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00:04:29,272 --> 00:04:30,539
Nothing.
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00:04:30,573 --> 00:04:31,807
We don't want anything.
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00:04:31,841 --> 00:04:32,908
We'll leave.
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00:04:32,942 --> 00:04:34,042
We're leaving.
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Why did you say my name?
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I didn't.
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00:04:36,913 --> 00:04:38,080
I said Norma June May...
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00:04:38,114 --> 00:04:39,982
Wait a minute.
135
00:04:40,016 --> 00:04:41,917
Are you Norma June Mayfair?
136
00:04:41,951 --> 00:04:45,454
You bet your ass I am.
137
00:04:45,488 --> 00:04:46,555
(gun cocks)
138
00:04:46,589 --> 00:04:47,689
(gasps)
139
00:04:47,724 --> 00:04:49,784
I want my mommies.
140
00:04:53,421 --> 00:04:54,921
What you want?
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00:04:54,955 --> 00:04:57,223
(stammering):
Calm down.
142
00:04:57,258 --> 00:04:59,225
I'm a relative of yours.
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00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:01,394
I'm married to your
great-granddaughter, Virginia.
144
00:05:01,429 --> 00:05:02,829
Her grandmother's your daughter.
145
00:05:02,863 --> 00:05:04,931
I don't have a daughter.
146
00:05:04,965 --> 00:05:06,666
Well, Burt, I don't
think the little guy
147
00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:08,234
from Lord of the
Rings would lie,
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00:05:08,269 --> 00:05:10,470
so I think we should
be on our way.
149
00:05:10,504 --> 00:05:12,272
Look, you're very old,
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00:05:12,306 --> 00:05:13,840
and if you're anything
like your daughter,
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00:05:13,874 --> 00:05:15,275
I'm sure your memory
isn't great,
152
00:05:15,309 --> 00:05:17,143
but you have a family
who loves you.
153
00:05:17,178 --> 00:05:18,745
They just thought you were dead.
154
00:05:18,779 --> 00:05:19,946
I am dead.
155
00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:22,682
I've been dead for 20 years.
156
00:05:29,924 --> 00:05:31,357
Are you an angel?
157
00:05:31,392 --> 00:05:33,760
Are you here
to take me to Heaven?
158
00:05:33,794 --> 00:05:35,095
Huh?
159
00:05:35,129 --> 00:05:36,596
She's a ghost, Burt.
160
00:05:36,630 --> 00:05:39,799
She's a ghost, and we're
the only people seeing her.
161
00:05:41,836 --> 00:05:43,470
Maybe we're dead, too.
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00:05:43,504 --> 00:05:45,105
I bet you didn't
really beat that train
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00:05:45,139 --> 00:05:47,073
at the crossing and we got hit.
164
00:05:47,108 --> 00:05:48,541
Damn you, Burt.
165
00:05:48,576 --> 00:05:50,610
I had so much to live for.
166
00:05:50,644 --> 00:05:52,011
I never saw Breaking Bad.
167
00:05:52,046 --> 00:05:53,012
I was saving it.
168
00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:54,614
Why did I save it?!
169
00:05:54,648 --> 00:05:56,449
Excuse me, sir?
170
00:05:57,685 --> 00:06:01,554
Do you see an extremely
old woman on the porch?
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00:06:01,589 --> 00:06:02,722
Norma June?
172
00:06:02,757 --> 00:06:04,457
Yeah, I see her.
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00:06:04,492 --> 00:06:06,593
So, the shotgun
aimed at your head...
174
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:07,861
not a concern for you?
175
00:06:07,895 --> 00:06:08,928
No, the gun's empty.
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00:06:08,963 --> 00:06:11,030
We do this every day.
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00:06:11,065 --> 00:06:12,098
She's harmless.
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00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:13,333
Hasn't left the house in years.
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00:06:13,367 --> 00:06:14,634
She thinks she's dead
180
00:06:14,668 --> 00:06:16,536
and she's waiting for
angels to come get her.
181
00:06:18,939 --> 00:06:21,374
What kind of varmint is this?
182
00:06:21,408 --> 00:06:22,408
This is amazing.
183
00:06:22,443 --> 00:06:24,477
Maw Maw's mother is alive.
184
00:06:24,512 --> 00:06:26,913
Sh-Should we call Virginia
and have her bring Maw Maw here?
185
00:06:26,947 --> 00:06:28,181
No, no.
186
00:06:28,215 --> 00:06:30,150
I want that to be a
surprise for Virginia, too.
187
00:06:30,184 --> 00:06:32,252
This is going to be
the best Mother's Day ever.
188
00:06:32,286 --> 00:06:34,053
We're bringing Norma June
home with us.
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00:06:34,088 --> 00:06:35,922
Norma June.
190
00:06:35,956 --> 00:06:37,357
Who the hell are you?
191
00:06:37,391 --> 00:06:38,658
Are you an angel?
192
00:06:38,692 --> 00:06:40,660
No, my name is Burt.
193
00:06:40,694 --> 00:06:42,395
And I'm going to
take you home with us.
194
00:06:42,429 --> 00:06:43,663
You're going to
meet your daughter.
195
00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:44,798
I ain't got no daughter.
196
00:06:44,832 --> 00:06:45,965
Now, get!
197
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,440
Look, I know there
aren't any bullets
198
00:06:47,468 --> 00:06:48,568
in the gun, so...
199
00:06:48,602 --> 00:06:52,105
(groaning)
200
00:06:57,011 --> 00:06:59,312
Well, I wonder what she does
to keep in shape.
201
00:06:59,346 --> 00:07:01,414
She's quite spry.
202
00:07:03,818 --> 00:07:05,718
Maw Maw's ma sure
put a lot of red wine
203
00:07:05,753 --> 00:07:06,986
in her pasta sauce.
204
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:08,888
Most of the alcohol burns off
when you cook it.
205
00:07:08,923 --> 00:07:10,163
Yeah, even still,
we should make
206
00:07:10,191 --> 00:07:11,424
a separate batch for Hope.
207
00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:12,792
Not that drunk three-year-olds
aren't funny,
208
00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:14,160
but she has a hard enough time
209
00:07:14,195 --> 00:07:15,528
walking a straight line
as it is.
210
00:07:15,563 --> 00:07:17,163
Actually, Hope's been walking
211
00:07:17,198 --> 00:07:18,865
pretty good for a while.
212
00:07:18,899 --> 00:07:20,533
How long has it been?
213
00:07:20,568 --> 00:07:22,402
Sabrina,
do you remember when Hope
214
00:07:22,436 --> 00:07:23,536
took her first steps?
215
00:07:23,571 --> 00:07:25,438
Um, I'm not sure.
216
00:07:25,472 --> 00:07:26,606
Oh, that's right.
217
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,641
You weren't around back then.
218
00:07:28,676 --> 00:07:29,742
I remember my back
219
00:07:29,777 --> 00:07:31,711
always hurt
from walking hunched over
220
00:07:31,745 --> 00:07:32,912
holding her little hands.
221
00:07:34,014 --> 00:07:36,382
That was a mother of a job.
Okay, Mom.
222
00:07:36,417 --> 00:07:38,284
But that wasn't
anywhere near as bad
223
00:07:38,319 --> 00:07:40,253
as when she cut her first tooth.
224
00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:42,555
Were you around for that,
Sabrina? I can't remember.
225
00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:44,490
Oh, it's probably my mom.
226
00:07:44,525 --> 00:07:46,459
It's an international call.
227
00:07:46,493 --> 00:07:47,727
Mom?
228
00:07:47,761 --> 00:07:49,362
Hi, Mr. Ping.
229
00:07:49,396 --> 00:07:51,746
Oh, sorry,
Ping's your first name.
230
00:07:51,866 --> 00:07:53,466
Can you cool it
with the questions?
231
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,635
What? I'm just making
conversation.
232
00:07:55,669 --> 00:07:58,104
Filled with questions one would
think a mother should know.
233
00:07:58,138 --> 00:08:00,273
Sabrina knows plenty about Hope.
234
00:08:00,307 --> 00:08:01,274
Not as much as me.
235
00:08:01,308 --> 00:08:02,942
It's not a trivia contest, Mom.
236
00:08:02,977 --> 00:08:04,911
The macaroni necklace
doesn't go to the person
237
00:08:04,945 --> 00:08:07,113
who knows the date
that Hope switched from diapers
238
00:08:07,147 --> 00:08:09,382
to big-girl pants.
December 14. I bought them for her,
239
00:08:09,416 --> 00:08:11,918
and they had butterflies on them.
You're being insane.
240
00:08:11,952 --> 00:08:13,786
(sighs) Hey, did you
get to wish your mom
241
00:08:13,821 --> 00:08:14,854
a Happy Mother's Day?
242
00:08:14,889 --> 00:08:17,624
Nope. Ping said
she's at a casino
243
00:08:17,658 --> 00:08:20,026
in Macau on an epic
18-hour blackjack run.
244
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,327
She thinks, if she gets
245
00:08:21,362 --> 00:08:23,229
on the phone with me,
it'll be bad luck.
246
00:08:26,634 --> 00:08:30,603
I need some "shut up" lollipops
and Band-Aids.
247
00:08:30,638 --> 00:08:33,973
The neighbor kid fell
into my varmint trapping pit.
248
00:08:34,008 --> 00:08:36,609
(knocking)
249
00:08:36,644 --> 00:08:38,678
Who are you?
What do you want?
250
00:08:38,712 --> 00:08:40,780
♪ We are from Heaven ♪
251
00:08:40,814 --> 00:08:42,949
♪ Ah... ♪
252
00:08:42,983 --> 00:08:45,084
And we want you.
253
00:08:45,119 --> 00:08:48,321
You are, uh,
Norma June Mayfair, right?
254
00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:50,056
Yes.
Good.
255
00:08:50,090 --> 00:08:52,025
We were supposed
to pick you up years ago
256
00:08:52,059 --> 00:08:54,427
and take you to Heaven,
but, uh, there was a mix-up.
257
00:08:54,461 --> 00:08:55,595
God sends his apologies.
258
00:08:55,629 --> 00:08:57,330
Angels have wings
259
00:08:57,364 --> 00:08:58,898
and halos,
260
00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:02,101
and-and their breath
doesn't smell like beef jerky
261
00:09:02,136 --> 00:09:03,369
and kettle corn.
262
00:09:05,506 --> 00:09:07,807
♪ Shine, little glowworm,
glimmer, glimmer ♪
263
00:09:07,841 --> 00:09:11,210
♪ Shine, little glowworm, glimmer, glimmer ♪
Ooh.
264
00:09:11,245 --> 00:09:13,346
I-I... I know that song.
(humming)
265
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:15,214
I think my husband
266
00:09:15,249 --> 00:09:17,216
used to sing it.
267
00:09:17,251 --> 00:09:19,986
I think I had a husband.
268
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:21,321
Yes, you did.
269
00:09:21,355 --> 00:09:23,156
And you can see
your family again...
270
00:09:23,190 --> 00:09:24,991
if you come with us.
I promise.
271
00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:26,993
♪ Lead us down the
path we wander ♪
272
00:09:27,027 --> 00:09:29,996
♪ Love's sweet voice
is calling yonder ♪
273
00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:32,999
BURT and BARNEY: ♪ Shine, little
glowworm, glimmer, glimmer ♪
274
00:09:33,033 --> 00:09:35,735
♪ Hey there,
don't get dimmer, dimmer ♪
275
00:09:35,769 --> 00:09:39,739
♪ Light the path below, above
and lead us on to love ♪
276
00:09:39,773 --> 00:09:41,207
Hey!
277
00:09:42,242 --> 00:09:43,476
Virginia!
278
00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:46,012
Virginia!
279
00:09:47,881 --> 00:09:49,282
I got a surprise for Maw Maw.
280
00:09:49,316 --> 00:09:50,516
I got a surprise for everybody.
281
00:09:50,551 --> 00:09:52,518
Did you get pictures
of the house?
282
00:09:52,553 --> 00:09:53,519
Better.
283
00:09:53,554 --> 00:09:56,155
(singsongy):
Look what I found.
284
00:09:57,157 --> 00:09:58,858
(gasps) Burt, what is that?
285
00:09:58,892 --> 00:10:00,259
It's your
great-grandmother.
286
00:10:00,294 --> 00:10:01,527
She's alive.
287
00:10:01,562 --> 00:10:02,528
What?
288
00:10:02,563 --> 00:10:04,497
So you're God and...
289
00:10:04,531 --> 00:10:05,898
this is Heaven?
290
00:10:05,933 --> 00:10:07,066
I gave up 5,000
291
00:10:07,101 --> 00:10:09,402
Sunday mornings for this?
292
00:10:09,436 --> 00:10:12,438
But it can't be her.
293
00:10:14,308 --> 00:10:16,142
She'd have to be...
104.
294
00:10:16,176 --> 00:10:17,176
Yep.
295
00:10:18,178 --> 00:10:19,412
(indistinct conversation)
296
00:10:19,446 --> 00:10:20,913
Who are you two ragamuffins?
297
00:10:20,948 --> 00:10:22,615
Good Lord.
What is that?
298
00:10:22,649 --> 00:10:24,183
It's your
great-great-grandmother.
299
00:10:24,218 --> 00:10:26,452
Happy Mother's Day, everybody.
300
00:10:31,425 --> 00:10:33,726
Mom?
301
00:10:33,761 --> 00:10:36,095
Barbara June?
302
00:10:40,968 --> 00:10:42,802
You!
303
00:10:42,836 --> 00:10:43,870
You.
304
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:45,805
(growling)
305
00:10:48,308 --> 00:10:50,143
Oh, my.
306
00:10:54,913 --> 00:10:57,247
You wrinkled prune!
307
00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:00,184
You dim-witted
nincompoop!
308
00:11:00,218 --> 00:11:01,518
Nincompoop?
309
00:11:01,553 --> 00:11:03,587
How dare you call me the...
310
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,155
(whispers):
N-word?
311
00:11:05,190 --> 00:11:06,690
Stop it.
This is crazy.
312
00:11:06,724 --> 00:11:09,159
Why do you two
hate each other so much?
313
00:11:09,194 --> 00:11:10,294
I'll tell you why.
314
00:11:10,328 --> 00:11:13,030
I remember it
like it was yesterday.
315
00:11:13,064 --> 00:11:14,565
You don't remember yesterday.
316
00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:16,633
Good point.
317
00:11:16,668 --> 00:11:18,735
But I remember this.
318
00:11:18,770 --> 00:11:20,170
(jaunty piano music playing)
319
00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:22,573
My mother sent me out
to buy some heating oil.
320
00:11:27,879 --> 00:11:29,913
The man said he'd bring
the oil to the house,
321
00:11:29,948 --> 00:11:31,848
but I was flimflammed.
322
00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:36,153
On the way home, I saw
a new movie was opening,
323
00:11:36,187 --> 00:11:38,055
but I didn't have any money,
so I used
324
00:11:38,089 --> 00:11:41,558
my feminine wiles
to get in for free.
325
00:11:41,593 --> 00:11:44,695
When I got home,
my mother was furious.
326
00:11:44,729 --> 00:11:45,862
She accused me of spending
327
00:11:45,897 --> 00:11:48,398
the oil money
to go to the movies.
328
00:11:53,972 --> 00:11:56,206
So I headed west
from Hagerstown to Natesville,
329
00:11:56,241 --> 00:11:59,509
and that was the last
I ever saw of her.
330
00:12:05,149 --> 00:12:08,285
So you two haven't
spoken in 70 years
331
00:12:08,319 --> 00:12:10,187
over a misunderstanding?
332
00:12:10,221 --> 00:12:12,022
There's no misunderstanding.
333
00:12:12,056 --> 00:12:14,958
She stole from me-- 25 big ones.
334
00:12:14,993 --> 00:12:18,862
So you're telling me that
this fight is only over $25?
335
00:12:18,896 --> 00:12:20,497
25 cents.
336
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,332
Those were "big ones" back then.
337
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,967
(groans)
338
00:12:24,002 --> 00:12:25,869
Fine.
339
00:12:25,903 --> 00:12:28,005
This is all I ever wanted.
340
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:30,274
My little girl.
341
00:12:30,308 --> 00:12:32,309
Mommy.
342
00:12:37,348 --> 00:12:38,782
Best Mother's Day ever.
343
00:12:38,816 --> 00:12:41,051
This is so sweet.
344
00:12:44,188 --> 00:12:46,523
I've got to use your john.
345
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,258
It might be a while.
346
00:12:48,293 --> 00:12:50,193
I can't tell you what for
347
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,963
'cause a lady
doesn't discuss her business.
348
00:12:52,997 --> 00:12:54,998
(Norma June passing gas
repeatedly)
349
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:04,775
And on those notes...
350
00:13:04,809 --> 00:13:06,376
it's time for dinner.
351
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,944
I'll help you set the table.
352
00:13:07,979 --> 00:13:11,081
Just make sure you give Hope
her favorite color dish.
353
00:13:14,385 --> 00:13:15,485
What are you doing?
354
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,654
Pink's not Hope's
favorite color.
355
00:13:17,689 --> 00:13:18,822
Yeah, it is.
356
00:13:18,856 --> 00:13:20,490
No, that's just part
of a girly phase
357
00:13:20,525 --> 00:13:21,658
she's going through right now.
358
00:13:21,693 --> 00:13:25,128
Green has always been
her favorite color.
359
00:13:26,364 --> 00:13:27,931
It was also her first word.
360
00:13:27,965 --> 00:13:29,599
Except she called it "geen."
361
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:30,634
It was so cute.
362
00:13:30,668 --> 00:13:31,635
Of course you weren't...
363
00:13:31,669 --> 00:13:32,703
There. Yeah, I know.
364
00:13:32,737 --> 00:13:35,005
Is there something going on?
365
00:13:36,407 --> 00:13:37,708
Hey, you know what?
366
00:13:37,742 --> 00:13:40,844
Uh, I was gonna wait
till after dinner to do this,
367
00:13:40,878 --> 00:13:42,979
but the anticipation
is killing me.
368
00:13:43,014 --> 00:13:46,450
So, go on.
369
00:13:46,484 --> 00:13:48,285
Mmm.
370
00:13:48,319 --> 00:13:50,487
(gasps)
371
00:13:50,521 --> 00:13:53,657
Did you...? (gasps)
372
00:13:53,691 --> 00:13:55,826
Oh, my goodness.
373
00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:58,028
And look, you even painted it
374
00:13:58,062 --> 00:14:00,297
your favorite
color "geen."
375
00:14:05,069 --> 00:14:06,470
Jimmy, did I do something?
376
00:14:06,504 --> 00:14:08,905
Yep, you married
into a crazy family.
377
00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:10,674
I'll be right back.
378
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,913
Leave me alone.
379
00:14:16,948 --> 00:14:20,684
I think you're acting pretty
silly over a macaroni necklace.
380
00:14:20,718 --> 00:14:23,353
It's not about
the necklace, Jimmy.
381
00:14:23,388 --> 00:14:25,622
The only good female
family relationship
382
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,157
I had left was me and Hope
383
00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:29,659
I barely remember my mother.
384
00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,027
Maw Maw barely
remembers anything.
385
00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:34,564
This was it.
386
00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:36,833
She was my little girl.
387
00:14:36,868 --> 00:14:38,869
(Norma June groaning)
388
00:14:38,903 --> 00:14:40,103
NORMA JUNE:
Fruitcake?
389
00:14:40,138 --> 00:14:42,839
When the hell
did I eat fruitcake?
390
00:14:42,874 --> 00:14:44,174
(toilet flushes)
391
00:14:44,208 --> 00:14:46,209
Hope's still your little girl.
392
00:14:46,244 --> 00:14:48,111
Not for long.
393
00:14:48,146 --> 00:14:50,414
As she grows up,
she'll never even remember
394
00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:53,150
the time when it
was just me and her.
395
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:56,086
Sabrina will be
her mother, and...
396
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:59,689
I'll just be the crazy old lady
screaming from the bathroom.
397
00:15:01,159 --> 00:15:03,493
Norma June,
it's been a little while.
398
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,229
You need some help in there?
399
00:15:06,264 --> 00:15:07,597
Norma June?
400
00:15:11,502 --> 00:15:16,406
BARNEY: Burt, could you
come here for a second?
401
00:15:18,976 --> 00:15:21,011
I think she's dead.
402
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,913
Did you try
mouth-to-mouth?
403
00:15:24,816 --> 00:15:26,349
Uh...
404
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,585
yeah.
405
00:15:28,619 --> 00:15:30,620
But maybe you should
give it a shot.
406
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:33,490
Uh...
407
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,629
Nah, she's dead.
408
00:15:39,664 --> 00:15:41,665
Worst Mother's Day ever.
409
00:15:47,371 --> 00:15:49,372
Is that fruitcake?
410
00:15:53,224 --> 00:15:55,160
Ah, man, do we really
need a stretcher?
411
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,094
I'm trying to hide this
from the rest of the family
412
00:15:57,128 --> 00:15:58,962
so it doesn't put a
damper on Mother's Day.
413
00:15:59,618 --> 00:16:02,119
Can't we just Weekend at
Bernie's her out of here?
414
00:16:02,154 --> 00:16:03,621
(Burt laughing)
415
00:16:05,957 --> 00:16:07,725
Shouldn't we tell Barbara June?
416
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:08,759
It's her mother.
417
00:16:08,794 --> 00:16:10,795
(sighs)
418
00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:14,165
(gasping)
419
00:16:19,137 --> 00:16:20,838
Maw Maw.
420
00:16:20,872 --> 00:16:22,339
Chow time, warden?
421
00:16:22,374 --> 00:16:25,309
Do you have a mother?
422
00:16:26,812 --> 00:16:28,078
Nope.
423
00:16:32,818 --> 00:16:35,753
As long as she doesn't see
her again, I think we're good.
424
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:41,625
Hey.
425
00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:43,794
Hey.
426
00:16:43,829 --> 00:16:46,530
(sighs)
427
00:16:47,666 --> 00:16:49,166
I want you to have this.
428
00:16:49,201 --> 00:16:51,669
No. That's yours.
429
00:16:51,703 --> 00:16:53,871
Hope made it for you.
Jimmy wants you to have it.
430
00:16:53,905 --> 00:16:55,506
I was just being...
431
00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:56,841
crazy.
432
00:16:56,875 --> 00:16:59,410
Yeah, yeah, I know.
433
00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:02,279
That's why I'm gonna keep
the necklace that Hope made.
434
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:05,349
'Cause this one is one
435
00:17:05,383 --> 00:17:07,651
that I made for you.
436
00:17:07,686 --> 00:17:08,853
Happy Mother's Day.
437
00:17:08,887 --> 00:17:10,020
That's very sweet,
438
00:17:10,055 --> 00:17:12,056
but it's not
Mother-in-Law's Day;
439
00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,090
it's Mother's Day.
440
00:17:13,124 --> 00:17:15,326
You should give that
to your mother.
441
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,761
Over the last few
years, you have been
442
00:17:17,796 --> 00:17:20,331
more of a mother to me
than my mother ever was.
443
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,168
I want you to have this.
444
00:17:24,202 --> 00:17:27,671
I see what you're doing,
and it's very sweet, but...
445
00:17:27,706 --> 00:17:29,006
What's my favorite color?
446
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,774
(sighs)
447
00:17:30,809 --> 00:17:31,842
What is it?
448
00:17:31,877 --> 00:17:33,978
Orange.
449
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,914
And you know that because...?
450
00:17:36,948 --> 00:17:39,783
Because, for your wedding,
you and I spent two days
451
00:17:39,818 --> 00:17:41,585
driving to every supermarket
in town
452
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:44,488
buying all the orange flowers.
453
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:47,691
And how did I chip my tooth?
454
00:17:47,726 --> 00:17:51,228
You thought you could skateboard
drunk on Cinco de Mayo.
455
00:17:51,263 --> 00:17:53,030
And you not only
chipped your tooth,
456
00:17:53,064 --> 00:17:54,999
you sprained your ankle.
457
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:57,034
And when did I start
walking again?
458
00:17:57,068 --> 00:17:59,069
(sighs)
459
00:17:59,104 --> 00:18:01,672
Three days later
on Ocho de Mayo.
460
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,908
(cell phone ringing) Oh.
461
00:18:07,746 --> 00:18:10,080
You should take that.
462
00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:12,783
(clears throat)
463
00:18:12,817 --> 00:18:16,020
Hello?
(music playing loudly over phone)
464
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,389
Hello?
465
00:18:18,423 --> 00:18:20,891
Mom, is that you?
466
00:18:20,926 --> 00:18:23,127
Mom, I can't hear you
over the music.
467
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:28,966
Oh, crap.
Is this here for me?
468
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,367
No.
469
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:31,669
(sighs) Good.
470
00:18:31,703 --> 00:18:32,870
Bye, Jimmy.
471
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:34,271
Surprised you made it this far.
472
00:18:38,343 --> 00:18:40,477
(groaning)
473
00:18:40,512 --> 00:18:42,046
Smells like someone
died in here.
474
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:46,016
Yeah, I was just calling to
wish you a Happy Mother's Day.
475
00:18:46,051 --> 00:18:49,386
Happy Mother's Day.
476
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:50,754
Oh, no, no, wait.
477
00:18:50,789 --> 00:18:52,923
I want you to hear this.
(button beeps)
478
00:18:52,958 --> 00:18:54,058
Hey, Mom?
479
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:55,592
What's my favorite color?
480
00:18:55,627 --> 00:18:58,762
I'm gonna guess black,
since your husband is black.
481
00:18:58,797 --> 00:19:01,432
Hmm, yeah,
that's my stepsister.
482
00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:03,500
Oh, then I don't know
your favorite color.
483
00:19:03,535 --> 00:19:05,302
MAN:
Say red.
484
00:19:05,337 --> 00:19:07,471
Red is very powerful color.
485
00:19:07,505 --> 00:19:10,741
Like Tiger Woods on final day.
486
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:14,445
Mom, do you remember how old
I was I when I first walked?
487
00:19:14,479 --> 00:19:17,081
Got my first tooth
and said my first word?
488
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,315
I don't know.
489
00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:19,583
If you can't remember
those things,
490
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,118
how the heck am I supposed to?
491
00:19:21,152 --> 00:19:22,886
Look, I got to go.
492
00:19:22,921 --> 00:19:24,321
But thanks for calling.
493
00:19:24,356 --> 00:19:26,256
Happy birthday.
494
00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,792
No, it's Mother's...
(click)
495
00:19:29,861 --> 00:19:31,829
(sighs)
496
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,470
Ah, there's my favorite moms.
497
00:19:40,705 --> 00:19:42,339
Hmm.
498
00:19:42,374 --> 00:19:44,641
Hey, aren't we missing
a table setting?
499
00:19:44,676 --> 00:19:46,410
Oh, uh, Norma June left.
500
00:19:46,444 --> 00:19:49,713
Don't tell me her and Maw Maw
got in another fight.
501
00:19:49,748 --> 00:19:52,483
No, uh, she left peacefully.
502
00:19:52,517 --> 00:19:53,817
Very peacefully.
503
00:19:53,852 --> 00:19:55,132
I'll give you the details later.
504
00:19:56,254 --> 00:19:58,989
This pasta sauce
tastes familiar.
505
00:20:07,699 --> 00:20:10,634
Yup, this is my mother's recipe.
506
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:12,136
Do you remember your mother?
507
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,138
Oh, yeah.
508
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:17,775
We had a falling out
a long time ago,
509
00:20:17,809 --> 00:20:19,977
but in the end,
510
00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:22,479
I think we made up.
511
00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:23,480
(cell phone rings)
512
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:25,449
Oh. Oh.
513
00:20:26,584 --> 00:20:28,085
Ooh, I got to take that.
514
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:30,220
Save me a meatball.
515
00:20:31,923 --> 00:20:33,991
I don't want to gross
everybody out,
516
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:36,994
but we did not make
meatballs for this pasta.
517
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,329
Hello?
518
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:40,364
MAN:
Ah, yes.
519
00:20:40,398 --> 00:20:41,365
Yeah, me and
520
00:20:41,399 --> 00:20:42,433
Lucy Liu.
521
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:43,901
Lin-sanity!
522
00:20:43,935 --> 00:20:44,902
It's just me.
523
00:20:44,936 --> 00:20:46,537
Stop it.
It's just her.
524
00:20:46,571 --> 00:20:47,704
Did it work?
525
00:20:47,739 --> 00:20:48,739
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
526
00:20:48,773 --> 00:20:50,507
It worked.
She totally bought it.
527
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:51,675
Thank you.
528
00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:54,178
So, your mother
never called, huh?
529
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:55,212
No.
530
00:20:55,246 --> 00:20:56,680
I'm sorry.
531
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:58,949
That's okay.
532
00:21:01,419 --> 00:21:03,220
I'm with my family.
533
00:21:03,254 --> 00:21:05,255
♪ ♪
534
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:13,464
♪ I want a mom
that will last forever ♪
535
00:21:14,999 --> 00:21:19,736
♪ I want a mom
to make it all better ♪
536
00:21:19,771 --> 00:21:22,806
♪ I want a mom to take my hand ♪
537
00:21:22,841 --> 00:21:24,975
♪ And make me feel
like a holiday ♪
538
00:21:25,009 --> 00:21:28,078
♪ A mom to tuck me in at night
and chase the monsters away... ♪
539
00:21:28,113 --> 00:21:38,709
Sync and corrections by honeybunny